So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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