No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
And then my night got REAL pukey
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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