You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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