his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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