If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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