I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
