did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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