Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am available for nakedness
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
