well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
