I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
