It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
