Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
