We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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