the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
no you cant smoke seaweed
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
