I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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