the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
