wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
