Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
