3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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