Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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