Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
