Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
