i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
