The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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