Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
