I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
do nipples grow back?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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