White coat. Heels.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
