In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
