He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
