i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
