normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
