I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
