Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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