Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
