I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
