A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
