He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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