Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
