I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
