Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
