well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
