BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
