I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
