I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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