I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have aggressive nipples.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
