Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I smell like Dick and happiness
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
