I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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