He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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