I looked at my own cervix.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
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Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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