Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
