The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
