haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He felt like a one man threesome
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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