I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
