3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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