I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
