First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
