So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
