hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
