Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
