apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Randomize
