remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
