I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
