Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
