saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
