You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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