So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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